What is nostalgic depression?

Can reminiscing about the past lower our mood and what can we do about it?

Aug 11, 2024

Hi friends,

How have you been? It’s been just over a month since I last wrote and if you read that, you’ll have seen me sharing some things I am finding difficult and easy. The last couple of weeks have, honestly, been more on the difficult side. Well, there have been some real highs… but also some real lows.

I’ve realised there’s something I’m doing that’s fuelling the lows and that’s what I want to get into today, to better understand it and come up with some ways to stop.

So, what is the thing I’ve been doing that’s fuelling my lower moments? Reminiscing. Looking back. Getting nostalgic. When I realised this, I started Googling and found a phrase that reflects how I’ve been feeling: Nostalgic depression.

Here’s an explanation from Medical News Today:

“Nostalgic depression is not a formal diagnosis. However, it describes negative emotions that people feel when thinking about their past. It may refer to sadness when contrasting happier memories with present negative feelings. It can also mean longing for the past but feeling negative emotions when someone is unable to reclaim it.”

Things came to a head for me last weekend thanks to a collision of shitty circumstances. I had gotten back from an amazing overnight stay at Leeds Castle with work which was full of team-building, incredible scenery and delicious food.

I should have been riding high, but my energy levels tanked, leaving me on the sofa, crying, trying to muster the energy to get up and make myself lunch. It reminded me of my energy levels after my second bout of covid in 2021 and I was just so scared to be back there. On cue, my period started which explains some of the crying, energy plummets and served a helping of cramps to really rub salt in the wound.

Then I got a call from my family asking me to come over and say goodbye to the family cat Sanka as he didn’t have long left. Dan and I went over, said goodbye and I honestly don’t know how I drove home through the tears. Since then, Sanka has taken a turn for the better, eating again and being his usual self, so he’s holding on like an absolute champ.

Nonetheless, I was spiralling all weekend. And I made it worse by thinking about life pre-covid and looking longingly at pictures of me back then. Back when my energy was better and when my body was different.

I wish body image wasn’t part of the fuel to my low mood, but it’s the part of eating disorder recovery that continues to trip me up.

Let’s be honest, the news cycle has been rough recently too. In amongst my spiralling were videos of racist anti-immigration riots taking place across the UK in my social media feeds. And here I am - in love with and building a life with a grandchild of immigrants. Worrying about his safety. Ashamed to call this country my home.

There are pockets of hope. The sight of counter-protests, knowing we voted the tories out, seeing Kamala beating Trump in the polls. And I’ve been clinging to these pockets for dear life.

Generally though, it can be so easy to look back through rose-tinted glasses and think things were better years ago and it’s when I get stuck on this thought that my mood suffers.

What’s helping

So, what’s been helping me move through nostalgic depression?

Firstly reminding myself of what I have now that I didn’t have then. Running gratitude lists through my head when my brain allows, but in all honesty this isn’t always easy.

I actually found work to be the most helpful thing - it felt grounding. It helped to pull me into the present. I used my brain in positive ways instead of self-sabotaging ways and got a reminder of how much more fulfilled I am professionally than I was pre-covid.

Making plans for the future has also helped, Dan and I have finally booked a holiday in September (we’re going to be travelling around coastal cities in Portugal for eight days!) And having this in the calendar is an instant mood lifter.

Engaging in activities I enjoy has helped too, reading in cafes, writing this (hello) and playing the Sims. I mentioned in my last letter that cleaning/cooking/pottering is feeling easy at the moment and I think that’s another grounding thing for me. I also did some cat-sitting for a friend this week and being around this cutie helped a lot.

The thing is, nostalgia can be a good thing for our wellbeing (my colleague wrote about this for Happiful, if you want to learn more). This morning I felt a warmth from nostalgia for the first time in a while.

I had my airpods in, sorting out piles of laundry and the song “Just a Phase” by Incubus came on. It immediately threw me back to my teen years, but in the best way. I remembered sitting on my friend’s bed while she played this song for me, introducing me to this band she was loving. I remembered the gigs we went to together and how much joy we get when sharing our passions.

We are currently in the process of arranging a journaling date and it made me smile at how much our friendship has both grown and stayed exactly the same.

At work this week my colleague asked me to appear in a video they’re making for Happiful’s TikTok and they asked what’s one piece of advice that got you through a tough time. My answer was a phrase I tell myself a lot: “The only constant in life is change.”

This always feels comforting to me. Things will change. They might get worse, they might get better, but they won’t stay the way they are. I’m sure one day I’ll reflect on who I was in 2024 with a whimsical smile.

In the words of Incubus:

“Yeah, it's just a phase
It will be over soon
Yeah, it's just a phase”

I’d be so interested to hear if you’ve ever experienced anything like nostalgic depression before? If so, what do you find helps? Let me know.

Content, Actually

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