Hi friends,
How are you doing? Last time I wrote to you, I shared some exciting/scary things I had coming up and how I was taming my nerves. I’m writing to you now from the other side of these, having finished recording podcast episodes for season two of Happiful’s Finding What Works (coming at the end of this month!) and having completed the half marathon walk I did for charity.
In the mix of this, I also got a promotion at work and have just finished my first week in this new role (which also happened to be the first week of my manager being off on maternity leave, and the first week of an urgent project being given to our team).
And it’s been… a lot. I really am taking my word of the year, ‘onwards’ to heart. But during all of this I’m reminding myself that onwards can only truly happen when we pause at rest stops.
Let me tell you about the glorious rest stop I got to half-way through the half-marathon walk. I saw the flags first, colourful waves of fabric ushering me to a safe space. Friendly faces pointed me in the direction of pastries and hot drinks. I picked up a pain au raisin, and sat on the most inviting plastic chair I’ve ever seen in my life. My hips were already screaming at me, so they welcomed a moment of rest. As I ate, I felt the delicious combination of fat, carbs and sugar giving my body exactly what it needed - energy.
I sent updates to friends and family and felt that maybe, just maybe I would make it to the finish line in one piece. During the first half of the walk I barely stopped, worrying any moments of rest would make the walk harder, but feeling my lifeforce come back to me on that plastic chair, I realised resting was the only way I’d get through the second half.
So that’s what I did. When I felt myself flagging, when my hip pain was unbearable, when I felt blisters form (and burst), I looked out for a bench. I sat down, sipped my water, ate some snacks and just took in the sights of London for a few minutes. This gave me enough time to recover before getting up and carrying on. It was still hard, I still had to mentally talk myself out of quitting, but I did it. And I actually did it quicker than anticipated.
I’ve long been an advocate for rest, and while it’s a lesson I seem to need to learn again and again, overall I like to think I’m quite good at it. And yet, it still took this very tangible example to remind myself how rest revitalises us.
Taking this lesson into life outside of a long-distance walk has been my mission since. Especially with work feeling so intense, I’ve had to find ways to both mentally and physically rest. Here’s what’s been working.
Moving away from my desk
Such a simple one, right? But when you’ve got three different people asking you questions on Slack, emails piling up and the word ‘urgent’ staring at you on the task you’re trying to focus on… it’s easy to find yourself glued to the spot, typing frantically and feeling like you’re fighting fires.
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do when you feel like you’re being pulled in different directions is to get up and move away from your desk. I tend to go into the kitchen to make a hot drink or do some washing up. This space gives me a moment to distance myself from what’s going on at my computer and ground myself in where I am (safe) to help regulate my nervous system. It also reminds me that it is OK to not respond immediately - I never expect this from others, and I know they don’t expect it from me.
The fires will still be there when I get back, but I find when I return, they look more like flickering candles than out-of-control fires. Because… they’re not emergencies. I work in marketing, no one’s life will be in danger if I don’t respond immediately. Something our manager used to say to us was “someone else’s urgency is not your emergency”, and this is a mantra I hold close in moments like this.
Floppy scoops and noodle arms
Oh, how to explain this one. So, something I struggle with when work is busy, is thinking about work when I’m not working. My headspace gets eaten up by work-related thoughts in the evenings and weekends. What I’ve found so helpful is to catch myself in these thoughts and sing (out loud, or in my head) “Floppy scoops… noodle arms!” which is part of a super catchy ditty from the end of a Bob’s Burgers episode. When I do this, I make myself chuckle and refocus my thoughts onto something non-work related.
I guess it’s a modification of the ‘Stop’ technique sometimes used in cognitive behavioural therapy. I find using a fun tune more powerful that the word stop, it’s like using the power on an earworm for good. What tune would you use for this?
Duolingo
As soon as I’m done with work for the day, I grab my phone and do a Spanish lesson on Duolingo. Not only is this new routine doing wonders for my streak (138 days and counting!) but it really helps me switch off from work. This is likely because I’m using my brain in a totally different way than I do for work and in a way that feels fun. I find this more helpful than my old habit of scrolling TikTok/Instagram, I think because I’m actively using my brain.
If you’re not a language learner, you might want to find something else that has the same effect - maybe a puzzle, some drawing, reading or playing a computer game.
Fiction
Both reading it and writing it. This one is all about the power of escapism and I love how it can briefly transport me to a different world. I read before bed (recently finished Yellowface and really enjoyed it, definitely one for fellow writers to read!) as a way of really switching off and it always lulls me to sleep.
I’ve also started attending Dear Damsel’s So Long As You Write Club, meeting every fortnight on Sunday mornings to write together. I’ve been writing short stories and have even entered my first competition. I have no intentions/hopes of winning, I’m more using these as a way of keeping up my writing practice - being given a theme, a word count and a deadline gives me the accountability I need - and then if I actually do win, well, that is a lovely bonus.
This kind of writing stretches my creativity in different ways than the writing I do at work, and helps to reignite my passion for words when I’m feeling a bit burnt out with writing.
Changing environment
The ultimate breaks come when we leave our usual environment, and I want to be intentional with this in 2024. I’m writing this on a Friday afternoon, and this evening Dan and I will be heading to Southsea to stay with friends and I’m already feeling the weight lift from my shoulders knowing soon I’ll be somewhere far away from my desk and far too busy having fun to be thinking about that one email I’m waiting on at work.
I also have a trip to Switzerland coming up to visit friends who live there for my birthday, and again, I know how refreshing this short break will be. Changing our environments can be as grand as proper holidays or as simple as taking your laptop to a cafe to work. I just know how refreshing it feels to change my environment and want to ensure I tap into this as often as possible.
I feel like the things I’ve written here are versions of things I’ve written before. I almost didn’t write it as I thought, ‘don’t I always talk about rest?!’, ‘haven’t I shared these ideas before?!’, but I figure, if it’s something I need to hear again and again, maybe some of you do too. It’s also, honestly, the only thing running through my mind right now.
I want to finish by stressing that I do know this busy period at work is temporary (and that part of me is enjoying the challenge, especially as I settle into my new role). I also know how fired up I am about the way I’m already embodying this idea of ‘onward’ - at work, at home, everywhere - and that I want to keep going. I just need to remember those oh-so important rest stops along the way.
Until next time, take care.
Kat x