Talking points
Thoughts on community and what the pockets of mine talk about
Hello friend,
How are you doing? I hope the sunny weather has been treating you well. Today, I’ve got community on the brain.
Next week is Mental Health Awareness Week and the theme is community and it’s been turning over in my mind while we prepare for it at work.
We’re doing some bits at work, which I’ll share at the end (including a free webinar I’d love you to join!), but before I get to that, I thought it might be interesting to explore the pockets of community I surround myself with and pick out what we talk about.
Perhaps there’ll be a pattern? Something I’m missing? Let’s see.
Family
My family is small-ish. My mum, dad, sister, niece and brother. An aunt and uncle, two cousins. Then of course Dan’s family, which is larger, including two nieces (and a nephew on the way!) multiple aunties and amazing Nana.
When it comes to family, talk ranges from surface level to deep. Here are some themes I notice:
Health issues (more common than I’d like!)
Work updates (from those working)
Recent arguments and annoyances (of course)
What we’re getting X for their birthday (why are they so hard to buy for?)
Politics (when I have the energy, ha)
Event logistics and associated stress (how will we get to X?)
Big life changes (job changes, weddings, house moves)
Current events (occasionally, often leading to debate)
The girls
My core friendship group. Four women who I’ve known since school, but we really solidified our group at college. We’ve seen each other grow, get jobs, meet partners, get married, move countries, have kids.
It’s something truly special to be a part of. Our talking points, though sporadic and often snatched, are vast.
We’ve promised to all get together for one trip per year, and this year’s is happening soon and I cannot wait to sit by the beach, playing with their kiddos and listening to all of the below (and more).
Adulting (the struggles, the celebrations, the nostalgia for simpler times)
World changes (AI, climate change, the political landscape)
Life updates (how are we doing generally? Who’s struggling? Who’s thriving?)
Work updates (how are we coping in the capitalist nightmare?)
Family updates (how did X get on at their dance class? How is X after their recent virus?)
Partner updates (how is X doing after redundancy? What was X’s time at the Marathon?)
Travel updates (who’s going on holiday and when do we get to see the pictures?)
School pals
Another group from school, consisting of three couples, as well as myself and Dan. We don’t get together super often, usually depending on when our famous friend (😉) who travels a lot for work is available.
Recently we met for a picnic, eating snacks, catching up and seeing the kids. Truly lovely.
Recent anecdotes (this group is brilliant at storytelling)
House updates (how is the extension going? What DIY has everyone been up to?)
Travel updates (who was that on the private jet with you? What is X like in spring?)
Work updates (usually just the big stuff - changes, promotions, or anything with a fun story attached)
Family updates (we’ve known each other’s families for a long time and often ask after each other's siblings and parents.)
Work buddies
The people I see and speak to most days. I feel so lucky that I genuinely enjoy spending time with the people I work with - it makes a huge difference.
Our talking points are perhaps expected, but no less important:
Work - of course (collaborations, updates, meetings, moments to vent, checking in with anyone seeming stressed, offering support, asking for it)
Industry news (have you seen X study? This is being talked about in the news, should we cover it?)
Weekend plans (what did you get up to? What do you have planned for this weekend?)
Annual leave plans (going anywhere nice?)
Life updates (engagement announcements, partner updates, family updates)
TV (what are we watching and loving?)
Chocolate/snack recommendations (Have you tried X yet? It’s incredible)
Writing group
I’ve only attended my local writing group twice so far, but I can already tell what an amazing little community it is.
The talking points are amazing because they are so focused, and different to others.
Creativity (have you tried morning pages? This is the hero’s journey, let’s discuss)
Reading (what are we reading?)
Writing (what do you write? How do you manage X in your work? Where can I read your stuff?)
Work (what do you do when you’re not here?)
Events (Do you want to come to this poetry event?)
Online connections
I’ve gathered a pretty lovely little community online, whether through my old blog, Instagram or Substack.
Our talking points are often concentrated, shared via comments and quick messages.
Celebrating each other (congratulations on X!)
Resonating (I’ve been through something similar)
Questioning (How did you get through X?)
Sharing (This is what’s going on for me right now)
Service worker legends
I’m thinking of the baristas at our local coffee shop, my amazing eyebrow lady, our Sainsburys delivery drivers, my Pilates teacher, etc.
People who offer a service and become part of your community orbit in the loveliest way.
The weather (I mean, of course)
Traffic (in Guildford, always a topic of conversation)
Recent or upcoming holidays (where are you headed?)
How busy have they been (busy day? Got any time off coming up?)
Client stories (always entertaining to hear)
Work (surface-level, how’s work going?)
Seeing it all laid out like this… I have to say, I feel pretty fulfilled. There are spaces to engage my work brain, my non-work brain, my creative brain. Surface level chats, deeper moments. It’s all covered.
But this has evolved over time and taken work. I sought out the writing group. I choose to engage online. My friends and I are intentional about connecting.
Community takes effort, but it is an incredible thing when you find the pockets that are right for you.
Happiful bits
So, onto the work bits I mentioned earlier. Happiful has created an amazing community hub on their website, complete with articles and resources to explore. This will go live tomorrow, so head to Happiful.com to explore.
For the hub, I got to write a piece about avoiding the ‘catch-up trap’ in your friendships and I so enjoyed putting this together - take a read (it’s live now) if you feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of always catching up and never moving forward with your friends.
Next Thursday (15th May, 12:00pm - 1:00pm) I will be hosting a free webinar with therapist Bianca Le Conte about finding community in a polarised society.
It feels topical, and I’m so excited to dig into this with Bianca - she has some incredible insights and will even be taking us through a practical exercise to help us navigate this (bring post-it notes and pens!).
If you can’t join live, register anyway as we’ll send out a recording. If you plan to come, let me know in the comments!
Thank you so much for exploring the topic of communities with me - I’d recommend giving this exercise a go yourself, are you feeling fulfilled by the talking points in your communities? What’s missing for you?
With it being Mental Health Awareness Week next week, I also want to shout out the amazing Mental Health Foundation who organise the annual event and choose the theme. If you can, donate to help them continue their brilliant work.
I’ll be back soon, and thank you for being a part of the Content, Actually community - it means a lot.
Until next time, take care.
Kat x
Hiya - I missed the event as I'm new to substack but would love the recording!