Doing scary things
(a follow-on from doing hard things)
Hi friends,
How are you doing? This is somewhat a follow-on from a previous post, Doing hard things. In that post I talked about a few things that felt hard and since then, a few more things have come up that don’t necessarily feel hard, but instead… a bit scary.
But a good kind of scary. A scary that comes from a place of gratitude and excitement.
So I wanted to talk about how we can cope with the kind of scary that comes when we’re gently (or not so gently) nudged out of our comfort zone.
Driving a new car
As I write this, I am gearing myself up to head to a car dealership to pick up my new car. It’s an exciting thing of course, and for most people would elicit nothing but joy. For me and my driving anxiety, it elicits joy and terror in equal measure.
I feel incredibly grateful that I’m in a position where I can afford a new car (see more below on that) and I’m excited to drive an automatic car. Part of me is also hopeful that it will help to ease parts of my anxiety.
Along with gratitude though, I’m feeling terrified to get behind the wheel. To get used to a new car and a totally new way of driving (what will I do with my left leg?!).
It will be fine and I keep telling myself it’s progression. A marker of me moving forward in this thing called adulthood. My first hybrid. My first automatic. My first big girl car. All possible because I’m also…
Starting a new role
Many of you know I work at Happiful in the content team. Here I’ve been creating content in all its forms (writing, video, hosting the podcast, etc.) for 12 years.
I’m still at Happiful and still within the content team, but a recent promotion is going to see me doing quite a different role. The role, Brand and Integrity Manager, sounds so fancy I truthfully had to do a Google search to check it wasn’t a made-up thing (turns out it very much isn’t!).
It will steer me away from day-to-day content creation and instead focus more on brand work (getting the Happiful story out there, including on the podcast) and policy work (ensuring the policies we have in place to verify the professional counsellors, coaches, nutritionists etc. we list on our directories are robust).
The work I already do within the internal wellness team will also be amplified, organising inclusion training for staff, working with HR etc. I’ll be looking at partnerships, seeking out speaking opportunities and generally staying on top of industry news (the industry being mental health and wellness).
As the title suggests, I’ll be looking after all things brand and integrity. Which feels big. But it also feels surprisingly needed at this point in my career.
Sometimes we don’t quite realise we’ve been coasting until we’re prompted to change gears (wait, can I still use manual metaphors now I drive an automatic?).
When I was sent the job proposal, I spent the weekend pouring over it. I felt scared, like I was being prodded towards growth and, to my surprise, I ended up with an idea document over 50 pages long. That was a sign I was ready for this.
While I wouldn’t say the last year was a coasting one (I took over some of my manager’s responsibilities while she was on maternity leave), I do think the years before perhaps had.
I start the role officially in May and I’m so looking forward to engaging a different part of my brain, learn new things and propel myself forward in a new direction.
Settling our nervous systems
It feels a little insensitive to call these things scary, I do get that. A new car and a promotion? Boo hoo.
However, I do think it’s important to note that any period of growth and change can feel intimidating, even when they are typical hallmarks of success.
I’ve had moments of guilt and, honestly, was unsure whether or not to even share this here. But I then have moments of wanting to step into this with pride.
I’ve worked hard for this… and it’s OK to feel nervous about changes - good or bad.
So, how can we settle our nervous systems when scary, growth things are happening to us? Here are some things I find helpful.
Gaining perspective. What’s staying the same? Who do you have around you to ground you? Spending time with Dan, my friends and family has helped with this, especially when work stuff has felt all-consuming. Spending time in nature also helps, it reminds me of my insignificance in the best way.
Tending to your hobbies. Spend time doing what you enjoy to feel inspired and calm. I’m writing this from my local writers group and I’m realising now, as my career changes and I’m writing less in that space, how important it will be for me to cultivate a space for my writing practice outside of work.
Visualising things if nothing changes. Sameness is comfort, but in time it leads to stagnation. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by change, I take a minute to think about how I would feel in five years time if nothing changed. The truth, for many of us, is that we would not like that scenario. Change is often a form of progress and rooting yourself in that truth can help.
Celebrating. An easy step to forget, but when the changes are good - celebrate them! Be proud. Recognise steps forward for what they are.
Thanks for reading, I’d love to hear if you’re facing any changes in your life at the moment and how you’re coping with it (all tips welcome!).
I’d love to potentially make this Substack a bit more regular and planned out, so if there are any topics you’d be interested in reading about do let me know.
Until next time, take care.
Kat x
Such a wonderful news and also super advice as always. I know I am late to the game but still congratulations from my heart.
Congrats on the new role and the new car!! What an exciting time, although you're well within your right to be scared of the newness. Not much new here, just plodding along with slow-moving house updates ☺️